


the death of a devil (and the sorrows of an angel)

by OllieMarieRen



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe-Canon Divergence, Angst, But whatever, Death, Hurt No Comfort, Killua is baby, Killua whump, Kinda, Maybe - Freeform, Oneshot, Suicide, christan ideologies, finishing or working on a series? nah, gods are jerks, i need to work on that, i think, its set during the movie, making angsty oneshots? yassss, might continue later if y'all want, probably the longest single thing I have ever wrote, self deprecating thoughts, so not really canon, spirits if you squint, that wasn't a chatfic, why do i do this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:28:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27946052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OllieMarieRen/pseuds/OllieMarieRen
Summary: Killua doesn't think he is very useful to Gon
Relationships: Killua Zoldyck & Gon Freecss if you squint
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	the death of a devil (and the sorrows of an angel)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry

Killua was sad, sad and mad, mad at life, mad at himself, and, surprisingly enough, mad at Gon. Though, he did have to admit that the anger he felt at Gon was nothing close to the anger he felt at himself. Both for what he did, and what he was about to do. 

Killua felt hot tears on his cheeks as he gazed down at Gon’s hunter licence, Gon wouldn’t want him to do this, Gon wouldn't want him to feel this way, but…..since when did Gon ever want what was good for him? Killua always fucked things up for Gon. Always made Gon feel the need to do things for him, things someone like Killua didn't deserve. Someone like Killua didn't deserve Gon, never has, never will, no matter what the green haired boy might say and claim, a bastard like Killua wouldn’t ever deserve an angel like Gon. 

Killua thought back on all the happy memories he and Gon made, on all the genuine smiles and laughs the boy who was sunshine personified managed to smuggle out of him. As the train approached, Killua thought about everything gon had done for him, all the kind words and favors this one decision would cause him to never be able to repay, and Killua smiled, because, despite all of the cons of this action, Killua knew this was the right choice to make. Yeah, Gon would probably be sad for a bit, but, eventually, Gon would realize that this was right, that this was what was best for him, and maybe, just maybe, the angel would also realize how much of a mistake being friends with a devil was. 

The train was getting close now, just a few more yards and Killua would never bother Gon again. Almost there-

“KILLUA!!!!!”

Killua’s eyes snapped open, but he didnt move, he just shook his head and smiled sadly, not that Gon would see it.

“KILLUA!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!?!”

Killua wanted to shout back, wanted to tell him he was sorry, but that would mean Killua got a peaceful death, and a devil didn't deserve that. But still, Killua opened his mouth to say it anyway, and then-

Black  
Peaceful blissful black  
And light, a light that was calling him, a light he turned away from, because surely a light so bright represented Heaven, and Heaven was a place where devils were not allowed. Only, he couldn't turn away.

“You are a sinner, Killua Zoldyck.” something said.

“I know.” Killua replied.

“Would you like a chance to cleanse yourself of your filth?”

“If something like me is worthy of that chance, then yes. How?”

“Take care of your friend, if you can keep him from becoming as monstrous as you, I will allow you to visit him in heaven for 24 hours every ten thousand years.”

“Thank you, I hope I can serve you well.”


End file.
